"Love is the heart that hurts you, but never hurt the heart which you love"

I was thrilled to announce that I received friend request on orkut from my beloved(it is one sided love),I jumped from my chair and announced in lab that I was going to pay for the evening tea. But it was joy of few seconds. Actual kartikay has typed his acceptance of frienship to me. He was just kidding but it was more than a joke for me. I became quite serious and sad too. I canceled the tea party, every one made fun of this but I was stunned.
I went to hostel and was listening song mltr 25 minutes, while the mobile started ringing. It was saurabh from mumbai he also gave me the same good news that my dream girl had added him as a friend. Now heart beats were out of control. I closed my eyes and started thinking about her. Why she not send me friend request?
After I lost my first love, as I told in my last blog,I was nomore interested to any girl till my Msc. But I remember 27th July 2005, we got rid of our 2nd semexams, and planned to have a meet with our juniors who were new in our institute. Some of our classmates gathered them in lecture hall at the first floor. I was not much interested, but just went to see the juniors.
Introduction session was going on, I saw a girl sitting on the first seat.She was the only girl to whom I attracted in past five year of my life.Numbers of girls more beautiful than her came to my life but I don't know why I liked her so much. As time passed I was more attracted to her. I came to know that she was little bit different from other girls,I never saw her in our canteen,and she was very less talktive to her classmates. I started to write all my thinking about her in my dairy,I used to write about her daily. I never told her my feelings but I know that she knew my feelings about her. How is smiled and how she was dressed all her memory is still in between the pages of my dairy.
I have been deeply wounded at that day, and I am still recovering from that hurt.
The true love comes in when you got a wound from your beloved, yet-you're ready to forgive her at anytime because you love your loved one in a whole some way. I've yet to learn about this issue , but I do know one thing-love knows no faults of the past. You can understand the facts of life. But facts of love are much different. I expected a lot from my lover. In nights, I speak to my mind and I know ,I never done something good, but I never done any bad to her. I get quite angry about it. Now thinking about break-up,but it is not so easy. With sadness I am going torn all the page and find that I have come to the end of another chapter in my life. For too long I have been lookinng for someone that was never mine. I am going to make the decision to walk forward with my eyes still looking back for someone. I ought to be happy; I have beautiful memories that will always find their way into my dreams. I've true loves(not from anygirl friend) and true friends and even though they all seem to be scattered across the world, they are still in my heart, just not in my life. I must look ahead. Just let it all go, rather than hurt myself and liveing in a fairytale.But is the reality that it can never be true. There are those songs that will remind me of lost moments, and those events that bring me back to my past, but my future must begin to outshine my past. So I am now only thinking about myfuture. I am happy and God will give all happiness to all my friends.